“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.” James 3:5 ESV
We tend to focus on the BIG things – BIG is better, right? BIG wins, BIG houses, BIG bank accounts, BIG jobs, BIG titles, BIG follower list, BIG audiences. In Texas where I grew up, it was BIG hair! In Christian circles, it’s no different – we’re most impressed by BIG – BIG acts of service, BIG talents and abilities, BIG contributions, BIG congregations, BIG buildings, and we are most horrified by BIG sins and BIG failures.
We can become so focused on the “BIG” that we overlook the “small.”
Friend, there is one small thing that left unchecked can cause catastrophic destruction in the hearts and lives of people, in marriages, in families, in churches, and in our world. It is something that we too willingly overlook and excuse in ourselves, but are quick to criticize in others or be easily offended by. That small thing is the tongue.
“And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.” James 3:6
Here’s how the Amplified Bible reads: “And the tongue is [in a sense] a fire, the very world of injustice and unrighteousness; the tongue is set among our members as that which contaminates the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life [the cycle of man’s existence], and is itself set on fire by hell (Gehenna).” (James 3:6)
In verse 8 of the same chapter, James says of the tongue, “but no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
These are serious indictments against this little member of our body: set on fire by hell itself, able to defile the entire body and ruin a person’s life, an unstable and restless wickedness, and a poison that brings death. None are trifling matters!
It’s easy to think about the times that you have been hurt by someone’s words, whether intentional or careless – the pain you felt, and the damage that was done to the relationship. Often there is pain in the remembering long after the offense is past.
It is much harder and more convicting to remember the times that it was your words that were sharp and hurtful, the times that your words were cutting and caused someone pain, the times you did seemingly irreparable damage to a relationship, and the times that your speech reflected badly on your testimony for Christ. We don’t want to remember those times, but if we are honest, we have all been guilty at one time or another.
We all have times when we say things that we wish that we could “un-say.” Things that we excuse to ourselves by saying: I was startled – taken by surprise – unprepared, taken off-guard otherwise I would never say a thing like that – I would never intentionally be that unkind or that mean – I was just so angry, it spilled out – if I’d had time to think about my response, I would have responded differently – and so on.
In Matthew 12, Jesus answers the question,
“Wow, where did that come from?”
A blind, deaf, and demon-possessed man was brought to Jesus for healing and to the crowd’s amazement and delight, Jesus healed the man completely. The jealous Pharisees accused Jesus of the blasphemous act of healing in the name of Beelzebub, the prince of demons. Jesus rebuked them strongly and told them that attributing the acts of God’s Holy Spirit to a satanic force was blasphemy (a sin of the tongue).
Jesus continued, “You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:34-37
Jesus says the source of all of our words – the good, the bad, and the downright ugly – come from the “abundance of the heart.”
Out of the heart, the tongue speaks.
In an unprepared moment – your spontaneous response reflects the content of your heart.
Whether it’s the driver who cuts you off on the highway, a broken lamp, a misbehaving child, a rude comment or some other offense, your reflexive response is a telltale indicator of the state of your heart.
In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
The question is how do you tame that which cannot be tamed?
FIRST, realize that you cannot do it on your own. God’s indwelling Holy Spirit is your Helper and Guide, He is the One who does the transforming work that shapes us into the image of Christ. (Romans 12:2) Allow Him to sanctify your heart, mind, and tongue.
SECOND, focus on the source of your speech – your heart. Confess, repent, and rid yourself of anything that fills your heart with ungodly and spiritually unhealthy content – whatever it may be, don’t allow it to take residence in your heart. THEN fill your heart with the “good treasures” of God’s Word and uplifting, God-honoring content. God’s Word will transform your heart, it will renew your mind, and it will guard your lips. (Proverbs 4:23, 24; Psalm 141:3, 2 Timothy 2:16-17)
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
Consider your words.
Does your speech encourage and build up your sisters and brothers in Christ?
Is your humor considerate or is there a mean undertone?
Is your speech a faithful testimony of God’s goodness and love to all that you meet?
Is your talk grace-giving?
FINALLY, know that one day, you and all of the rest of us will give an account for the “careless words” that we speak. (Matthew 12:36, 37)
Here’s a Scripture-based prayer that can come in handy when you realize that your tongue and your heart need an adjustment:
Father God,
I confess that my heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked – I don’t understand it and I don’t know it fully. (Jeremiah 17:9) Please forgive me and “create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within.” (Psalm 51:10)
Father, I know in and of my own strength, I cannot control my tongue – there is no way I can please You without Your divine help. “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!” (Psalm 139:23) If there is anything in my words, my heart, my life that dishonors You, show me, LORD, and lead me in the path of Your eternal righteousness.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)
In the precious name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, I pray.
Amen.