If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9 ESV
How many times did I hear these words as a child?
“Sherri Renee! You know better!”
How about you? I’m guessing that many of you could insert your name into that statement:
__(your name)______! You know better!
In my case, those words were typically spoken at the beginning of a lecture, followed by some form of punishment. The punishment was dependent on the severity of my crime.
And, of course, Momma was right. I did know better.
I knew not to do that “thing,” but I did it anyway. I chose to disobey knowingly.
The reverse was also true. Those were times when I chose not to do something, even though I knew for sure that I should have done the “thing,” whatever it was..
In both situations, I knew I had earned whatever punishment was appropriate depending on my infraction.
As much as I disliked getting into trouble for something I had done unintentionally, I really hated getting in trouble when I deliberately chose to do wrong.
In unintentional or accidental situations, the punishment was minimal or none, and quickly all was set right in my little world. But when I chose to do wrong, I was crushed. I felt worse about doing the wrong thing or failing to do the right thing when I knew exactly how I should have behaved.
One reason I felt so bad was that I knew I had disappointed my Momma (or Daddy). My parents trusted me to make good choices because they had taught me better. I had broken their trust. When I learned at a young age that God tells us to obey our parents, I realized my disobedience was a disappointment to God, too.
I was taught early to say, “I’m sorry,” whenever I disobeyed and did something wrong. And when I said those words, I really meant them.
Knowing I had disappointed my parents and God brought shame. I was embarrassed that I had let everybody down, including God. I was afraid they might not love me as much as they did or even like me anymore. Those feelings brought on unbidden and uncontrollable tears – I was never one to bury my emotional turmoil or suffer silently.
So Momma would sit me down and lovingly tell me that I was loved and forgiven. Then she would remind me that God loved me even though I had done wrong. She told me that when we do something wrong, if we tell Him about it and then ask for forgiveness, He will always forgive. Always. No exceptions. We’d usually end those conversations with me praying, asking for forgiveness, and saying “amen,” knowing all was set right. My young heart was at peace once again.
Afterwards, everything was good. I didn’t have the words to explain it at the time, but in my heart, I knew the relationships with Momma, Daddy, and God were restored. I was forgiven, my shame was gone, and I was still loved.
“I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin.” – Psalm 38:18 ESV
“May my heart be blameless in your statutes, that I may not be put to shame!” – Psalm 119:80 ESV
Wrong behaviors and attitudes confessed. Forgiveness requested. Forgiveness given. Shame gone. Relationship reestablished. Love confirmed.
It seemed so simple then—because it was. And friend, it still is.
The older we get, the more we try to complicate what God has made so simple that a little child can understand it.
Instead of recognizing that we’ve done wrong, we try to explain it away or excuse it. We don’t want to acknowledge that we’re at fault, because that might bring guilt and make us feel obligated to try to set things right with the injured party. We think apologizing might make us look weak and embolden others to take action against us. Asking for forgiveness is too humbling and embarrassing.
All day long my disgrace is before me, and shame has covered my face. Psalm 44:15 ESV
You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Psalm 69:19 ESV
We don’t want to take the situation to God, because we already know what He will likely say.
So, we carry that unconfessed wrong (sin) along with us. We bury it so that we won’t think about it. We convince ourselves that it was inconsequential, and eventually, everyone involved will get over it and forget about it.
Before long, we’re lugging around many seemingly little wrongs with us all the time. We notice that we are frequently unsettled in our spirit. Relationships began to feel a “bit off.” We don’t understand why.
Over time, the burden of unconfessed wrongs grows exponentially. Our spirits feel weighed down, as if by a ton of bricks. Our prayers seem blocked. Our relationships with others and, more importantly, with God, feel out of sorts, distant, and disconnected. And we don’t understand why.
If this describes the burden you are carrying, then I want to encourage you to:
- Humble yourself, confess to God the wrong actions, disobedience, and bad attitudes you have been carrying for so long.
- Are there people in your life who need an apology from you? Go to them, if possible, to ask for forgiveness.
- Give forgiveness to those who have hurt you—that doesn’t mean you excuse them or put yourself in a position to be hurt again. But you let go of the resentment and anger you’ve harbored in your heart.
And, KNOW This:
Know that God has forgiven you.
Know that your relationship with Him has been restored.
Know your shame is gone.
Know your relationship with God has been reestablished.
Know that God loves you.
The Psalmist, David, wrote these verses:
“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the LORD does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” – Psalm 32:1, 5, 7 NIV
Dear Friend, You do know better.