“Let me hear in the morning of Your steadfast love, for in You I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul.” Psalm 143:8 ESV
Children are persistent whenever they want something or want to do a particular activity. As a child, I remember repeatedly asking for a thing even though I received a definitive “no” each time I asked. Each “no” received a “but why?” from me. Finally, in frustration, my momma or daddy would say, “Because I said ‘NO!'”
My boys played the same irritating “Can I—But Why Not?” game with me. After multiple “nos” and brief explanations of why they could not, I, too, would finally lose my patience and say, “Because I said ‘NO!'”
And like me as a little girl, my boys would toddle away disappointed and irritated because they didn’t get what they thought was so desperately needed at that moment.
Scripture tells us to go to the Father with all our needs and longings. The Bible also tells us that God will answer our prayers. And, indeed, He does. At times, the answer is a clear “Yes.” At other times, the answer is, “Not now.” And there are still other times when the answer is a straightforward “No.”
It’s those “Nos” that cause us problems. We don’t like “No.” We want to get what we want, what we think we need, when we want it, and believe we must have for our lives to be complete. So, we ask again. And again. And again.
I confess, there have been times that my spirit felt a definite no from God, but I wanted a thing so badly that I convinced myself that it was not God talking. So, I pushed ahead on my own, realizing much too late that God’s “No” would have saved me a lot of pain and heartache.
Have you experienced that? That moment of twisting God’s definite “No” into a “Well, just this once,” or “Sure, go ahead, I was only kidding.”
God uses those moments of disobedience and impatience to teach us hard lessons. If we are smart, we learn the lesson the first time, so we don’t have to have a repeat episode. We must learn when God says “No,” it is for our best. When God says “No,” He is protecting us.
In the “Nos,” we learn to depend more heavily on our Father. In the “Nos,” we grow in our faith and trust.
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation. …Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” Isaiah 12:2, 4 ESV
When I think back on the days when our sons frequently asked (begged) for things that warranted a “No” response, I can honestly say I never said “No” to be mean or to deprive my little guys of something they needed or wanted that would be good for them. Russ and I love our sons with all our hearts, and as long as we had the resources, we’ve wanted to provide them with things that were good for them and would bring them joy.
It’s the same with God, except that His resources are limitless. So, when God says, “No,” it is always out of love. It may be because what we have asked for is not good for us and will pull us away from Him.
God may say no because we are living in disobedience. His no is to get our full attention, eventual repentance, and return to Him. Whatever reason God has for saying no to a prayer request, He has a purpose for that no, and we can trust that He is acting for our good.
In “Experiencing God Day By Day,” Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby write, “Some refuse to take no for an answer, insisting that if you pray long enough and hard enough, God will ultimately grant any request you make. It is an affront to your Lord to continue pleading with Him when He has clearly said no. The purpose of prayer is not to conform God to our will but to adjust our will to God. We must learn to trust God so that if He says no, we accept that His will is best.”
Have there been times when God’s answer was no, but you weren’t willing to accept His answer or trust that His no was an act of love? Have you pushed ahead, forcing your will upon the situation, only to realize later God’s no was for your best?
No matter how disastrous the outcome of that willful decision may have been, if you learned to conform your will to God, you have learned a lesson of great value—a lesson that will act as a reminder that God says no only because of His great love for you. Trust God in all things, even in the “nos.”
Israel’s determination to make its own way and pursue its own strategies, repeatedly ignoring God’s clear “nos,” is a sad but powerful example of the consequences of not trusting our ever-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God.
The prophet Isaiah wrote these words to God’s children who foolishly closed their ears to God’s no, “‘Ah, stubborn children,’ declares the LORD, ‘who carry out a plan, but not Mine, and who make an alliance, but not of My Spirit, that they may add sin to sin'” Isaiah 30:1 ESV.
That sounds so much like me at times, and maybe you, as well—stubbornly ignoring God to press ahead with my own plan. So much hurt and pain can be avoided when we release our will to God and surrender in obedience. The joy is in the “No.”
Later in that same chapter, the prophet writes, “Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him” Isaiah 30:18 ESV.
Sometimes, God’s answer is “No.”
Will you listen, trust, and obey?