How frustrating to be party to a one-sided conversation. A conversation that, no matter what you started to say, was hijacked by the other person.
You walk away or disconnect from such a conversation, realizing you never had the opportunity to complete a sentence or finish a thought. You made no statements and expressed no opinions. You shared nothing of yourself in the interchange.
The person on the other side of the conversation never gave you more than a second to begin a comment before talking over you. You were not heard. There was no interest in what you had to say. You felt disregarded and disrespected.
You know that the other party to the conversation saw your role as spectator and audience. Applaud, laugh, “tsk-tsk,” or make a sympathetic sound as appropriate—that was the extent of your script.
You suspect the conversation could have occurred without you present. Anyone with ears would do. You exit that sort of “conversation” with relief and, often, more than a bit of frustration.
The truth is it wasn’t a conversation at all.
Merriam-Webster defines conversation as “an oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas.” The keyword, as I see it, is “exchange.”
A real conversation is an exchange of words, thoughts, ideas, and feelings. You speak, I listen. Then we switch—I speak, you listen. In a conversation, we don’t talk at someone; we talk with someone. Sounds simple, yes?
As irritating as we may find it to be “too often” on the strictly receiving end of a “conversation,” most of us take on the role of “I’ll speak, you listen” at times.
Perhaps we exhibit that “I’ll speak, You listen” attitude most flagrantly (and obnoxiously) in our prayers.
Wait! Isn’t that what prayer is—telling God what’s going on in our life and what we need?
If that is our view of prayer, we will approach God with the attitude of “Here’s my grocery list of things needed today” or “Today’s ‘To Do’ list is ready for You, Lord.” Friend, God is not operating a holy “fast food” drive-through order kiosk, nor is He a spiritual, prayer-answering Siri or Google Assistant. He is God.
As over-the-top, arrogant, and presumptuous as it sounds, if we’re honest, aren’t there times when this is precisely how we approach prayer? Take a moment to think about your typical prayers. Do they tend to lean toward a one-sided listing of pains, aches, needs, and desires? Are you asking to hear from God and pausing to let Him speak? Is a real conversation taking place?
Please do not misunderstand. God wants His children to come to Him in times of need, pain, and desperation. He wants us to pour our hearts out before Him. He wants us to express our love for Him and our faith in Him in our prayers. If you have any doubts about this, I encourage you to read the Psalms, which are intimate, heartfelt prayers meant to be sung and recited back to the Father in prayer, worship, and praise.
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!” Psalm 37:7 ESV –
Even when we pray “according to God’s will,” we can still miss the richness of communication if we don’t allow space to listen to God’s voice as we pray.
Prayer is intended to be a two-way conversation with our Lord God. Scripture encourages us to bring our needs and requests to the Father, but that is only part of the conversation. Intentionally silence yourself to sit in the moment to listen for His voice.
“But My people did not listen to My voice…. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels. Oh, that my people would listen to Me, that [they] would walk in My ways!” Psalm 81:11-13 ESV
If your prayer time is one-sided and allows no moments of silence to listen, you will miss out on precious opportunities to hear your Heavenly Father’s words of loving encouragement, guidance, and correction.
Prayer time is not your opportunity to deliver a monologue or “life wish list.” God is not a spectator, nor is He your audience. It is a conversation between you and God Almighty. Just as God demonstrated His love and longing to commune with His children in the Garden of Eden when He walked with them in the cool of the day, God wants to commune with you.
“Listen to Me: blessed are those who keep My ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to Me…For whoever finds Me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD.” Proverbs 8:32-35 ESV
God communicates with us, His children, in different ways depending on what we need to hear. He may speak by reminding you of a Scripture verse, the lines of a song, or the words spoken by your pastor or a godly friend. He knows best how you need to hear Him at that moment, and that is how He will speak.
Are you listening for His voice?
