“But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.” 1 John 2:5 NKJV
We walked past the aging wooden telephone booth boasting its French-folding glass-paned door as we turned towards the short stairway. The worn carpet silenced our climbing footsteps. At the top of the stairs, I felt I was stepping into an odd “Twilight Zone” episode staged in an enormous, aging furniture store whose only offerings were sofas, loveseats, end tables, and lamps.
As far as the eye could see, the dimly lit space featured strategically-distanced sofas and loveseats, most filled with young couples sitting at least six inches apart. Conversations were hushed, punctuated at times by quiet laughter. Some sat silently, gazing intently into each other’s eyes. Others were anchored to the sofa’s arm, awkwardly checking their watches, clearly wondering if it would be impolite to say they had homework to do.
“Watchers” wandered about, ensuring that all were respectfully observing the rules of protocol.
I had serious doubts about “The Dating Parlor.”
Over the months that followed, I grew fond of the strange “furniture store.” It was one of the few places my sweetheart and I could talk uninterrupted. There were no distractions or disruptions other than a “watcher’s” occasional “tsk” accompanied by a slight shake of the head if we invaded the sacred, invisible six-inch space that protected our physical purity.
Although I often found the environment contrived and overly restrictive, I learned the value of real conversation. When all you can do is talk, you either learn to carry on a conversation or give up and move on to shallower, easier-to-navigate waters. I wanted to know Russ. I wanted to learn all about him. I wanted to hear him talk about his passions and his dislikes. I wanted to listen to his dreams and his heart. And I wanted him to know mine.
Phone calls and exchanging letters during summer break, then evening messages or quick conversations during busy school days, were all good. They were sweet. But it was nothing compared to conversations that allowed us to open up and share our families’ history and dynamics, day-to-day challenges and successes, faith and spiritual journeys, and hopes and dreams for the future.
In the nineteen months between the day we met and the day we married, the majority of those deeper conversations occurred in the “furniture store.”
Did we learn everything there was to know about each other during those months? Of course not! Not even close, but we learned a lot. And we fell in love. Over fifty years later, the deeper conversations continue. And, we are still learning, growing, and loving each other more as time passes.
Maybe you’re wondering why I’m sharing this with you. My point is this. For a relationship to flourish, you must move past the emotional highs and the surface conversations to find real connection, understanding, commitment, and deep love. This is true in all types of meaningful human relationships, especially in the sacred bond of marriage.
And friend, this deeper level of communication is even more vitally critical to your love relationship with God.
Please understand you start your relationship with God at a distinct disadvantage. God knows everything about you. He knew you in your totality before you were conceived. He knew every thought you would ever have, every emotion you would ever feel, every hurt – joy – pain, every mean and hateful word you would ever say, every angry reaction, and every action you would ever take. Your every success and failure—God knew it all.
And, still, He chose to love you and accept you as His beloved child through His Son.
“Even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love, He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:4-6 ESV
On the other hand, you have much to learn about God—more than you could possibly learn in one lifetime or even, if you were gifted, with a hundred lifetimes. So, how do you begin to grow in knowledge and relationship with God, so that you can love Him more deeply and completely?
It begins, of course, with a faith-filled belief in Jesus as your Lord and Savior. The next step then is, empowered by God’s Holy Spirit, you whole-heartedly pursue knowledge, understanding, and deepening relationship with the Father.
God has given us three growth practices that are imperative to an ever-growing, flourishing line of communication and deepening relationship with your heavenly Father:
- Be a student of the Word (Holy Bible). Grow in knowledge and understanding. (Psalm 119:105)
- Be committed to regular and ongoing communication with the Father, praying in the power of the Spirit, and in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ. (Philippians 4:6, Colossians 4:2)
- Be an intentional participant in the Body of Christ – the Local Church. Grow in knowledge, encourage and be encouraged, and serve. (1 Peter 4:7-11)
All three practices are critically important and when woven together build a strong, interactive line of communication between you and the Father.
The communication lines are intended to be open at all times.
Intentionally build margin into your busy life to allow for real communication between you and God. That means allowing time to focus on Him and listen for His voice during your prayers, keeping your ears and heart open as you read His Word, and be aware that God often provides insight, encouragement, and teaching through other believers.
I call it “living ears wide open” – always listening for God’s voice, always ready to receive His Words, always keeping the lines of communication open.
“Listen to Me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the Lord: look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the quarry from which you were dug.” Isaiah 51: 1 ESV
If you are living ears wide open, you will find that day by day, month by month, and year by year, your love for God will grow deeper and stronger. You will find that your knowledge and understanding of Him continues to expand and has more deeply entrenched itself in your heart and mind.
Last year, we walked through the university campus where Russ and I met many years ago. We toured the student cafeteria where we had our first brief conversation. And then we visited what had been the “furniture store”.
The Dating Parlor is now a bright and shining, massively renovated administrative office complex and conference room space. No doubt, the highly functional space contributes greatly to the university’s overall effectiveness and financial bottom-line.
But I was a bit sad and wondered where today’s students find a space, free from distractions, to focus on really getting acquainted with a potential life partner while practicing the lost art of deep conversation.
That begs the question, where (how) do you find or create a distraction-free space to focus on falling in love with God through His Word and through focused prayer? How do you keep the lines of communication open with God throughout your day? What do you do to build Christian community (the Church) regularly and consistently into your life?
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” 1 John 4:16 ESV