“For many are called, but few are chosen.”
Matthew 22:14 ESV
“Today, we’re playing dodgeball!” Cheers and groans were the mingled response from my gym classmates.
Cheers rang out from those athletically equipped. The ones blessed with coordination, a sharp eye, a powerful throwing arm, agility, speed, and a ferocious sense of competitiveness were thrilled with the opportunity to display their superpowers, thus, the cheering. The P.E. teacher always chose the two team leaders from that group. Team leaders held the power to choose their respective teams.
The groans emerged from the rest of us not blessed with athletic powers – super or otherwise.
We all knew that “last chosen” wasn’t chosen at all. It’s the person the team-with-the-last-pick gets stuck with. The last one picked was the “loser leftover” no one wanted. It wasn’t said out loud, but we all knew the truth – especially the last person chosen.
The best case for the nonathletes was NOT to be the last person chosen. Christian or not, the common prayer was, “Please, don’t let me be the last name called.”
Not chosen. There are things far worse in life than not being selected for a dodgeball team. But in that moment, in front of your classmates, not being chosen for a team can seem like the end of the world. At least, it felt like that to me.
Most likely, we have all experienced those moments when something we had hoped would happen did not. We know the ache of not being the one selected. The hurt of not being chosen: for the team, for a part in the play, to sing the lead, as the best friend or a romantic interest, for a promotion, for the ideal new job, for a book contract, or maybe, even though you both took the “till death do us part” vows, the one you thought would always choose you, chose someone else. The list of “not chosen” possibilities is endless.
Not chosen. It can be devastating and debilitating if you allow it to be so.
In those moments of pain, where do you find your comfort? How do you move past the feeling of not being chosen for whatever you desperately wanted and thought you needed more than anything else?
Here are three questions for you to consider:
- Priority. Who or what holds first place in your heart?
- Perspective. What shapes the way you look at life? What beliefs and attitudes define your response and interactions with others and the challenges of day-to-day living?
- Purpose. What is your primary purpose in life? Where is your focus?
Have an honest conversation with yourself. Tell the unvarnished truth.
Openhearted answers will likely reveal why the hurt is so bad and the pain so deep when you’ve been disappointed by someone or something you have trusted.
Understand this. Misplaced priorities, a misaligned perspective, and a misunderstood purpose position us for disappointment, feelings of rejection, pain, and heartache.
Above all, know this with every fiber of your being. God chose you. The Creator of All Things, Almighty God, Commander of the Angel Armies, Alpha and Omega, chose you.
You have been chosen by the One who matters most. In truth, you have been hand-picked by the only One who truly matters.
Not only did He choose you, He loves you with an unending, never-failing love.
“For we know, brothers and sisters, loved by God, that He has chosen you.”
1 Thessalonians 1:4 NIV
Our heads know and remind us of this, but our wandering hearts betray us. And that is why we must stop from time to time to reexamine our hearts and reflect further on the three questions I asked earlier:
- What is your priority?
The first and primary commandment is, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with your mind, and your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27).” This establishes our priority. Love God, which includes obedience (1 John 5:1-3).
- What is your perspective?
Set your heart and mind on the things of God. Focus on the eternal, not on the temporary things of the world that will quickly pass away. (Col. 3:1, 2)
- What is your purpose?
Our purpose is to carry out God’s purpose for us. We are to live as redeemed children of God ransomed by the blood of our Savior, being transformed daily into the image of Jesus Christ. We are to live as obedient children of God in the role He has chosen for us, whatever and wherever that may be.
Whatever our position, He is our purpose. We are to be ambassadors for Christ, always sharing the message of the Gospel of Jesus. (Eph. 1:3-14)
The Purpose-Driven Life, written by Rick Warren, begins with these often-quoted words: “It’s not about you.” He continues, “If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by His purpose and for His purpose.”
Rick Warren
God must be our priority. He must have first place in our hearts so that His priorities become ours.
That is why God’s perspective must become our perspective. We will see correctly only when we are able to see our situation, the people around us, and our world through the eyes of God.
Our purpose in life only becomes clear when we “begin with God.”
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.
Proverbs 16:9 NLT
He CHOSE us for Himself, to be His children. He is our priority, our perspective, and our purpose.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him.
Ephesians 1:3-4 ESV